Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Do you like me? Yes, No or Maybe PT2

So that hard part is over, or so they say! You told him that you like him. You told her that you like her. NOW WHAT??? What happens after you both acknowledge that there are mutual feelings between the two of you? Who is supposed to take the first step? Usually after mutual feelings are brought to the table, next comes a date. But in 2013 that doesn't seem likely, well not in my experience. I've had several conversations with both male and females about who is supposed to take the first step and it seems as though everyone is pointing the finger to the next person or saying it does not matter who does what!

 I grew up watching the movies where the guy would ask the girl out. I grew up with parents that would go on dates with each other and my dad would ask my mom out. I grew up thinking that the man should take  charge and ask the woman out. Now, in 2013, my views have be altered slightly.

My personal opinion: It does not matter to ME who takes that next step. As long as there is being a step taken. Don't get me wrong, I am a very low-key hopeless romantic, so YES I would love for a guy to ask me on a date and bring me flowers and all the mushy movie stuff. I expect that to happen eventually but if its not on the first date, I wont die! (But 1st impression is everything!) I understand that breaking the ice and asking a person out can be nerve wrecking for some people, but since it's not nerve wrecking for me, I do it (not all the time though). The only problem with being the person to take the next step is that you could be looked at as the person who is supposed to initiate everything and that is where my problem lies. Also, I have been told time and time again that if a man wants you, he'll find a way to get you. No matter how busy or how nervous he is, he will work hard to get you. So does that mean that if a guy hasn't asked a girl out, its safe to say he doesn't really want her? WHO INVENTED THIS DATING CRAP! LOL

Some of the feedback I have gotten on this topic:

@jadore__chanel "I personally don't think it matters. Of course you want to feel wanted you always want that other person to express their feelings first.  But hell closed mouths don't get fed. if you want something go after it before someone else realize the prize and wins the race. 

@regina_george22  "I think it should be the man. If we have mutual feelings then he should step up to the plate and make the first move. That's part of what makes him a man as well as making the woman feel wanted. I think we still deserve that much." 

@Antonio DockaFlocka "It shouldn't matter. It's almost 2014. Who cares who asked first..."

Overall, I think the conclusion is,do what works best for you. If waiting on the guy/girl to ask you has worked for you, stick with that. If asking the guy/girl out has worked for you, stick to that. Or you can do a little of both. But whatever you believe in and are comfortable with doing is what you should do. 


  1. A man is to pursue a woman, but a woman should also show interest.

    Most times women are already dealing with insecurities from past relationships so a man taking the 1st step would eliminate the feeling of not knowing if the attraction was forced or natural.

  2. Me personally i would love for a man to ask me out. If we both acknowledge like for one another i feel at that point its his job to pursue me. In situations as this men should play the dominant role. Now after that its just as much her job to ask him out as it is his. Whether they say it or not men like to be courted as well

  3. I personally would like for the guy to make the first move. It depends though on the guy because some are shy and then I would have to be the one to initiate. Ultimately as long as there is a mutual understanding of the feelings you both have for each other it doesn't matter.

  4. I've found that many men are intimidated and wont approach me, but this is not the man that I want. I want the man who can initiate things because I'm an Alpha female so I need someone who is not imtimidated. I do not mind showing interest in a man interest; in fact, I can say that I'm pretty good at showing interest. However, I will never ask him out first. I also grew up with a loving and pleasing father. He did and said all of the right thing, and I still found myself in less than deserving situations. Now that I'm in my adult years, I've grown stronger and realize my self worth, I will not accept less than what I want or deserve as woman. He definitely has to put in some work, and I will put in work as well.

  5. I totally agree i believe thi s generation is confused. .and honestly ive always been that mushy movie girl love..and i guess my hubby new it..lol but men need to know what type of woman there getting in order to deliver i believe.

  6. Real men by nature are hunters.. If he wants you he would go after you. If he wants to go out he would take you out on a date.. But there is always a but.. Some men are focus with a task they have before them for a example business, career things of that nature, where most of his time is and energy is put in to so maybe he do like you he is just in a routine where he is always focusing on what he has been doing. In that situation it will not hurt a woman to get his attention suggest something and if likes you he want turn you down...

  7. I thinnnnnnnnnnk a guy should pursue the woman. Its up to the woman to accept or reject the guys efforts. All this new age shit about a woman taking that first step in a situation-ship, is not the way things should go. A man is to be tested and pushed to his full potential! If he is not living up the standard that u expect or even putting that effort then he may not be the best match for u. U can't test someone, but turn around and give them the answers. You want to see how much he/she knows. Nonetheless, a man that is interested is a Man that is tirelessly dedicated to proving he can in fact be ur superman. This new age woman pursuing because its what she wants and she doesn't want to "lose" him is ridiculous! U can't lose what u never had and u can't lose someone that's meant to be urs! Don't believe the HYPE

  8. Here is my input on dating. I feel that many women make it easy for men nowadays and it is based on your upbringing. In our parents generation, their parents (which would be our grandparents) taught them to make sure they ask a woman out OR make sure he is taking you out first. And, most of our parents forgot to pass that lesson of life on to us. Then you have a case where most people in our generation grew up not having that MAN in their life. I hate to call it this but for the past 20 years, this has been the SINGLE MOTHER ERA....so without that man in their lives, it has cause a huge IMPACT on this topic of how a MAN should court a woman. You see it goes way deeper than a woman being damaged from a past relationship because honestly, I am a woman who has been hurt in the past, but I am willing to date if a gentleman would court me. The only reason I'm like that is because of my upbringing. Now, these ways, sometimes work and sometimes it doesn't but....in conclusion, I'm traditional, I am in love with the fact of a man asking me out on a date to the movies or dinner instead of "just kicking"...maybe it's just the classic lady in me.