My Friend...Steve Agee

Almost a year ago I lost a good friend...Steve Agee! He was one of those people for me...one of those always smiling, always joking...an overall GREAT person! He gave thee best hugs! Through losing Steve I learned to not question GOD and the things that he does because even when he answers, I STILL don't understand. I miss my friend...I really miss my friend...But in my own little way I'm making sure his memory stays alive. After you read this poem...if you knew Steve please leave a memory of him in the comment box below, and if you did not know Steve I hope this helps you get to know him... just a little.

I never in a million years thought I'd miss you in this way

You not being here so I can hear your laugh or hug you...I never thought I'd see the day

The hurt in your loved ones eyes still remains

Life goes on they say...but it just doesn't feel the same

Those jokes...those precious moments...I'd give anything for another

I know I'm hurting...but I cant imagine the pain of your brother...father...and your mother...

But there is one thing that I want you to know, we will keep your memory alive

We will do our best in all we do, for greatness we will strive

You taught me to not worry about every little thing, just hop on life's rollercoaster and ride

You inspired so many and we all want to do the same

So there are so many things being started up in your memory, in yout name

So yes we still hurt from losing you but in that loss you have opened so many doors

We are forever reminded that life is ABOUT SO MUCH MORE

Letter to my 5 year old self...

Dear BreAuna aka Bre(lol)

       I hope that you are ready for a life that no one but GOD knew you would live. There will be many ups, BUT there will be a lot of downs. At one point in your life, your downs will make you feel beyond low. You will feel as if nothing you do is good enough. Not good enough for your friends, not good enough for your family, not good enough for the world and not good enough for GOD. You will grow up knowing that GOD and your family love you NO MATTER WHAT, but there will come a time when that is not enough. You will search for love in what seems to be all of the wrong places. BUT what you will learn from that search is that the love you were searching for has been in your face your entire life. NO dude will be able to love you more than GOD. And when you do meet a nice, loving and caring MAN, he won’t make you feel alone. He'll be there whenever you need him. He'll see that you are clearly a dork and corny as hell, but he'll still stick around, and he'll laugh at your horrible jokes!! Let your guard down, he won’t hurt you. There will come a time when you will not know who you are, what you are here for and why GOD placed you in a family where you will feel as if you do not belong. There is a reason for everything HE does, so do not fear what he has in store for you. Some nights you will cry yourself to sleep because you will feel as if you do not fit in. People will make you feel as if you have to change who YOU are to make THEM feel more comfortable in THEIR skin. DO NOT CHANGE!!!!!!! You will always be outspoken and head strong but that is a part of who you are. That is how GOD created you and if GOD wanted the input of others on how to create you I'm sure he would have asked them for their help. BUT since he didn't tell them to shut the hell up!!! You will have a lot of people you call friends...those people will get you thru some of the hardest times of your life. BUT some of those people will not be around as long as you may think they should be. They will leave you, some will have a "reason", others will not. There is nothing you can do to make people stay in your life! If they want to be there, they will be there! Stay the loyal person that your parents will raise you to be! Even when being fake is what other people are doing around you, stay loyal!!! Stay loyal to your friends, family, boyfriends, and GOD. And do not forget to stay loyal to yourself! Your family, as irritating and crazy as they maybe, show them as much love as possible. They love you! NO MATTER WHAT, THEY LOVE YOU! THEY LOVE YOUR SMILE! THEY LOVE YOUR STYLE! THEY LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU PISS THEM OFF! THEY LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Oh yea...when you get older there are some people that you will call your friends...those people are the true definition of what friends should be. And even though some friends will hurt you, these friends are different. They love you for the head strong, independent, outspoke person who are! They will show you what it is like to have people in your corner no matter what happens between you. And don’t forget about you baby....She will look up to you! She will try to mirror some things you do. You are an example for her; pave the way for her and your older brother! I know it may sound crazy now, but they both depend on you. Remember to make yourself happy even if it means that others do not agree with what you are doing. Last but not least BreAuna...Even when you feel alone, and you feel low, and you feel as if your best isn't good enough...when you feel like crying...when you feel like smiling...when you feel stressed...and when you are at your best...remember to give GOD all the praise BECAUSE LITERALLY...WITHOUT HIM YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE....HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT LOVED YOU THE DAY YOU ENTERED THIS EARTH...WHEN YOU DIDN'[T HAVE NAME...WHEN YOU DIDN'T HAVE A FAMILY...HE WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND YOU AND CAREFULLY PLACED YOU WHERE YOU SHOULD BE. NO MATTER WHAT HE LOVES YOU!


                                                                                 Sincerly, Your 24 year old self! <3


Writing this letter to myself helped me in so many ways I couldn't even begin to explain! What would you say to yourself at a young age??? Think about it...you may even learn somethings about yourself that you didn't know! <3

LIVE...

She held on tight...as long as she could
I asked her to make sure she stayed around for graduation...She promised she would
I admire the fight in her, I hope the same fight is in me
Because there will one day come a time when I am trying to hold on to this life...But GOD will want me to be free
I wonder if she asked GOD for one more day
If she asked HIM to let her stay
Even if she did, her request was denied because HE took her away
I remember the last time we talked...I held her hand
Even though her body wasn't functioning properly and mine was...she told me to sit, dont stand
She whispered "baby no matter what, take care of yourself and your fam".
And I replied while looking into her eyes "Grandma dont worry, I am".
My stomach dropped because I knew that this was the end
I would never be able to talk to my favorite person ever again
I was so close to crying
Because the only person that ever understood me was so close to dying
And even though she didnt have much strength left, she continued to give
Within her last breath she continued to live...



There was a very important lesson that I learned from losing my grandma to Cancer(of the blood)...LIVE!!!!!! NO matter what the situation is you have to continue to live. Even when there's nothing left in you, you have to live until your last breath leaves your body. I promised my Grandma that I would take care of my family and myself. The best way I know how to do that is to LIVE. So that day I also promised my grandma that No matter what I would try my best to appreciate life everyday that I get the chance to live it. So this blog post is dedicated to her and to everyone else that has taught me how to live! *RIP* Grandma...I miss you!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T..........

Note from BreAuna...I have only been in one serious relationship in my entire LIFE and I'm not married so it obviously didn't work out. BUT my parents have been married for over 27 years! I have watched their relationship grow over the years. They have set a great example for me! I also know a lot of other married couples and other couples that have been together for years. I also do research on relationships! NOT that any of this is your business! BUT let me help you out...If you do not like what is said on MY BLOG DO NOT READ IT!!!

I recently had a conversation with my boss. She said that she was watching a TV show and they stated that Our generation and the two generations before us are lost when it comes to relationships. They said that there is no hope for these three generations, we do not value marriage and we do not know the meaning of LOVE. She asked me if I agreed with these things and this was my response....

The Problem: I can only speak for this generation...I TOTALLY agree that THIS generation is lost when it comes to relationships. Cheating has become the norm and people are accepting lies left and right. I do not completely blame our generation for the problems that we have now. There is a lack of good and healthy relationships that we can use as an example or a blueprint. No one taught us the value of relationships. NO one taught these young ladies to demand respect and except nothing less than 100% from a man. NO one taught these young men to open doors, pull out chairs and to respect women. No one is teaching...BUT that is not an excuse!

Is there a SOLUTION???
 I do not know the exact answer...but I have some suggestions

Ladies: Stop trying to find yourself in a man! Know and LOVE yourself before you try to get to Know and LOVE a man! When you LOVE and RESPECT yourself you will never let another man cheat on you, lie to you constantly, abuse you, you use and overall Disrespect you! When A MAN sees that YOU love YOU he will LOVE you too! We must demand more from these men! They are cheating because WE allow them to in many ways than 1!!! There are females who do not know their worth which leads them into being okay with being the "sidechick". We have to respect each other and each others relationships! It is not okay for women to mess with a man when we are aware that he is in a relationship!!! As long as there are women who are okay with being nothing but a side chick we will not make any progress.  As long as there are women who will allow a man to cheat on them we will not make any progress. SHARING IS NOT CARING!!!!!

Males: It is important that YOU LOVE YOURSELVES too! As much as you may think that is something that a female needs to work on...Its obvious by some of your selection of females that You all need to love yourselves more as well! You should want a female that expects a lot from you and respects herself and you!  There is no harm in being in a relationship with one person. Giving your all to one woman can be a good thing. If you have a woman that is giving you her all and helping you in anyway possible...if you know she's different than any other female you have come across treat her the way you would treat your mother, or the way you would want a young man to treat your daughter! Personally I feel that the more you entertain the females that disrespect themselves the more females will continue to do so. EXAMPLE: Wale said he wanted an ambitious girl...all of a sudden chicks started going to school and getting jobs....If more males had higher standards...maybe females would step their game up.

I would rather be alone than be in a relationship where I am not happy, and I am getting disrespected! Everyone deserves to be treated with respect! Everyone deserves to be loved!!!! Everyone needs to work on becoming a better them and demanding what you deserve! Its crazy that we will not let a stranger on the street disrespect us but we will allow someone who claims to love us, constanly disrespect us! Raise your standards and do not apologize for doing so!

It will take an honest effort from both males and females in order to change the current situation...until then our generation will continue to be lost!

HMMMmmm Interesting!

Recently I have noticed that males have been doing a lot of women bashing. At first I thought maybe a few dudes were going through some similar issues at the same time. THEN I noticed that it was almost every dude on Twitter and Facebook...constantly going in on females...

I find it a tad bit off that so many males can comment on what females do YET do some of those same things themselves...

Example...Males look at females as being insecure if they stay with a male that does not treat them right. BUT I am noticing that a lot of males are doing the exact same thing! Chicks are keying your cars! Sleeping with your bestfriends! BUT you are still with them or messing with them. Doesn't that make you insecure too then? #pause...lets not get started on the type of chicks that you are spending your time with and money on...#strags....yet SOME dudes are soooooooo quick to say that a woman is insecure!

Since we are on the topic of being insecure...I must address this...
Any male that chases after a numerous amount of females is insecure...YEAH I said it!!! As much as a female should be able to be by herself, not be in a relationship, love herself ETC...so should a MALE!!! I know sooo many dudes that CAN'T be alone! They always have to have a girlfriend or a main chick or a handful of chicks!!! Any dude seeking the love and affection of a lot of females needs to have a seat and really think about why he can't be alone. The love from GOD and yourself should be enough...and the love from GOD, yourself, family and ONE woman should really be enough...IM JUST SAYING! MAYBE if you all took some time out...got to know ONE WOMAN...TREATED HER RIGHT...you all would see what its like to have the FULL attention, love and respect from a WOMAN! I'm telling you...its an amazing thing!! (shout out to my Mommy who has been married to my Daddy for 27 years)<<<<It's possible!
A GROWN MAN that is secure with himself does not need/want the attention and affection of many different females..

Moving on...
Ummmm why is it that it's NOT OKAY for a female to want a relationship??? I have seen soooo many dudes call chicks thirsty and tell them to cool out on the looking for a man thing...YET after the sun goes down all the dudes searching for a chick start DM'ing and inboxing trying to get put on? #Pause....FYI God didn't put us on this earth to be alone...So the need and want to be with someone else is natural and normal!!!! I do not think its okay for a male to put a female down just because she is looking for Mr.Right...In no way am I saying that chicks should be super thirtsty to find a dude but You can't look down on her for not wanting to be alone and wanting someone to love her and someone to love...I'M JUST SAYING!

Speaking of Mr.Right.......
OMG not every dude is Mr.Right and I really want you all to know that! This act that SOME dudes have been putting on has got to stop!!! The new game(if you are not aware) is that SOME dudes are acting as if they have had their hearts broken just to get a chick to feel bad for them(for whatever reason). Pretending to be a "Good Guy" is not cool AT ALL! It really makes it hard for the GOOD GUYS that are REALLY out there . Just how strags are out here claiming to be GOOD GIRLS isn't cool...The same rules apply!

Last but not least...this is a personal pet peeve of mine...
IM SOOOO TIRED OF YOU FAKE STEVE HARVEYS!!! Just because he wrote a book trying to help women...doesnt mean that YOU get to shoot shots and try to "help" females with their problems. SHUT UP!!!!! But dont let a female try to help a male understand anything(sports,life) then there is a problem. SMH!

PLEASE STOP REFLECTING YOUR INSECURITIES OFF ONTO OTHER PEOPLE...IT'S NOT CUTE!

Know Your Role and SHUT YOUR MOUTH

Read with caution!!

One thing I have noticed on facebook and on my TL on twitter is that there are wayyyyy toooo many bitter FEMALES in this world!!! I have reached a conclusion...Females have a major problem with taking responsibility for the part they played in getting their hearts broken!

Let me explain...
I was in a relationship where I was constantly and consistanly being cheated on by the person that I was in a relationship with. The first time that I found out it shocked the hell out of me! I had no idea what I was supposed to do so...I stayed around, secretly hoping and praying that it would not happen again. BUT we all know how that goes. Dude def.cheated on me again...and again...and again...hell I lost count!!! I still stayed and hoped that things would get better and that things would change. If you ask anybody that knows me or knows of me...I am not the type to take anyones bullshit...but I took his because I loved him...I was bitter for a long lil min! BUT what I realized while drowning in my sorrow and bitterness...It was my fault I was bitter...

Dont get me wrong...
What he did was not right! No matter how many chances I gave him, he shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation and continued to do what he did. BUT I was wrong too! I was wrong for staying when I knew that I should have left! I was wrong for not loving and respecting myself enough to get my Loyal, Loving and Caring ass up and leave! The first time it happened I should have left BUT I did not. From that point on I was responsible for everything that happened to my heart. NOT HIM! He showed me who he was and I chose to ignore all the FLASHING RED LIGHTS! I ALLOWED him to continue to hurt me!!!

Ladies...STOP BLAMING THESE DUDES FOR YOU BEING BITTER AND NOT TRUSTING MALES!!! Take a step back and figure out the ROLE you played in getting your heart broken! And once you have figured that out...SHUT UP about it already!!! It happened...Its over!!!

NO...
I am not saying that getting over a dude that you onced loved is easy! By no means am I saying that it is completely your fault that things happened the way that they did. BUT I am saying, listen to your heart and use your brain at the same time!

If a man continues to cheat and YOU allow him to do so...and YOU STAY...he will never learn not to cheat! He will continue! That's like when a child does something wrong and they do not get in trouble for it, they will continue to do it! If you stay in a relationship with a cheater...YOU are saying that it is okay for them to cheat and they have NO reason to stop....!

him VS HIM

He said he wants to give her the world
But she unknowingly gave her heart to the dude who said he wasn't ready for a girl
The other guy tell her things that she's always wanted to hear
But it would mean so much more if those words we whispered by the one she wants, in her ear
She's ready to leave, but him being too late to catch on is her greatest fear
She plays her role but she makes silent moves
In a race that he's already winning, he has no idea what he's about to lose
Tired of the confusion, she walks away
Only to be pulled back into the confusion yet another day

The One That Got Away

Yo guys told you to stay away from a girl like me
I'm like you kryptonite,when I'm around you get weak
But I build you up at the same time, its not for them to understand, its too deep
When we're together its like we're the only 1s up and the rest of the world is sleep
But you ignore your heart and listen to your friends
You dial my number and quickly press end
You pour your heart out in a text but never press send
And you hope that I won't forget you and will think about you every now and then
With the help of those same homies, you'll get over me one day
But you change my name in your phone to "The One That Got Away"...

The Real Him...

The crazy part about it is...I'll probably know you better than your next girlfriend ever will. Thanks to me that fear in your heart doesn't exist anymore. I did all the work and she'll reap the benefits. I'm the one you told your secrets to. The one you trusted after not trusting anyone. I never broke that trust. Within that, you were able to trust more. And that's when she came along. You were never as comfortable with her and you were with me. You never trusted her as much as you trusted me. That is what scares you. The fact that I...one person...could hold you secrets, hold your hand and hold your heart all at the same time without dropping it...! Instead of facing your fears you ran. You ran into the arms of a person that will never know the real you and that makes you feel good. I know your flaws and never judged you because of them. I embraced them with you and supported you through it all. But with her...you don't have flaws. She sees the perfect man. I know you're not perfect and that's what attracts me to you. She'll never see what I see because you will never show her what you showed me...The real You

Driven By Fear

Having hoes is alright
But you're constantly searching for love in the wrong places, which in return leaves you alone a night
The perfect person for you could be in front of your face but the walls around your heart are too tall, so she's out of your sight
You blame the position that you're in now, on your past
Never taking responsibility for the part you played in relationships that you knew wouldn't last
Hoping that some girl will teach u how to love but you refuse to attend that class
You mentally yearn for some stimulation
But to avoid the thought of getting hurt, you go for the chicks who will only provide you with sexual relations
Once upon a time you weren't ready, now your decisions are driven by fear
One day you'll wake up alone and realize that the one person that could love you unconditionally has been around for years
You'll reach out for her and she'll no longer be here.

This Guy...

I had this guy named John and he was koo
But I couldn't get past the fact that he never finished high school
Then there was David he was the trap or die type
Nigga was up on the latest clothes but couldn't figure out how to work facebook or skype O.o
My least favorite I nicked named him Pookie
His conversation was wack, all he ever talked about was how he wanted to do me -___-
Oh yea I cant forget Mack, I thought he was my kind of dude
but he didn't open doors or pull out chairs, he was lowkey rude
next came Ced he acted way too much like a little kid
He went through my purse and phone, tried to keep track on everything i did
Then there was Sean, the nigga with the trust issues
always complaining the ex that cheated, Somebody get this guy a tissue
I almost forgot about Marvin, the nigga thought he was chris brown!
He must have thought I was Rihanna but when he raised his hand I knocked that nigga DOWN
There was this guy Tim.............
He claimed to only want to be friends, BUT he only wanted me to talk to him
This other guy Jay, we talked for a while
Until I got a text from his phone that said "Jay is my man"...it was from the mother of his child
Can't forget about the church going, saved and sanctified guy Dre
He was cheating ass dog at night, but a saved pastor by day
Jarvis was my almost favorite, and to say almost maybe petty
He was a good guy, He acted like my man, but when it came to commitment, he claimed he wasn't ready
All these dudes had some type of good qualities
If I could take all of those things and smash them together, I could build the perfect guy for me!
LOL

Our Generation...

Somewhere between the past and the present, cheating became expected
People not breaking up and moving on became the norm because weak ass apologies became accepted
In our generation, settling to avoid being alone is the new trend
At the rate we're going thing will get worse before they end
Sleeping alone is all of a sudden starting to bother everybody
So they suck it up and stay with a person who likes to lie and cheat
Our generation is scared to spend time by themselves
Instead of taking time to get over the last, we look to the next for help
People these days get in relationships just to put it on Facebook
You cant stay single too long because it will be viewed as "Not a good look"
People get in relationships just so they wont be alone on Valentines day
We ignore the ones that adore us because of what our friends might say
Marriage is viewed as "my wifey" or "my hubby"...it's a game
Our generation has yet to scratch the surface of what real love is...I think that's a damn shame!

Keep Me Alive!!!

I sat in the car and I cried
I beat up the stirring wheel, no one was around to see it was late at night
I felt as if I left my heart on your front porch, I died
I worked so hard to be the best person I could for you, I tried
I felt empty, there's nothing left inside
How could the person that I loved, not love me back?
How could you decide to step outside of our relationship instead of telling me what I lacked? 
You smiled in my face, while secretly your bags you packed
The pain I felt in that moment I can't describe
I had to choose, let your infidelity kill me or let the little piece of me that I kept hidden keep me alive
That night in my car I found a lost piece of me
I learned what love for myself is, and what love for another person should never be...

Single and Lonely...!

 
 Lately I have been noticing that there are a lot of lonely people in the world. Maybe that’s just my twitter timeline or my facebook mini feed(if u do feel that way...u might want to avoid putting it on a social networking site). Am I the only person that has that one girl that when the sun sets she talks about sleeping alone? Am I the only person that has that one guy that tries to talk to any and everybody? I do not see the big deal with spending time by yourself. Some act as if the single life is the worst thing that ever happened to them. They complain about every holiday and whine all the time about not being happy and talk about relationships all day everyday!! Oh my goodness!!!

                My advice to these lonely people is simply…Spend some time getting to know yourself. It is not possible for you to find true happiness within a relationship if you are not bringing happiness to the relationship. Happiness comes from within. I am a strong believer in “You control your own happiness”! If let someone else control your happiness, when that person leaves, your happiness leaves with that person. We take some of the smallest things for granted. We are too busy complaining about what we don’t have. Okay you don’t have a relationship right now. Think about the people who are in a horrible relationship who are secretly wishing they were single. You must exercise patience. There is a reason that you are single at this point in your life. Enjoy being single! Go see a movie with your friends! Spend more time with your family! Write down some goals that you want to accomplish! Spend time getting to know the person that you are. Write down a list of things that you want in a mate and make sure that the next person you decide to get into a relationship with meets those standards.

                Too many times people are lonely and end up jumping head first into a relationship with a person that they are not supposed to be with. (That sense of loneliness does not go away just because you are in a relationship FYI) Too many times people also stay in bad relationships because due to the fear of being lonely, or alone. If you can’t be happy alone…you can’t be happy in a relationship! Single does not mean lonely!!!! Real talk!

How Did He Get Here?

Held onto the bad just to keep a part of him nearLet go of it all and now the painted picture looks a little more clear
Feel like I'm Floating around this world alone
No path seems right...How do I get home?
Its weird when you seem to fit in but you feel like you dont belong
Mind and heart...Im starting to think they'll never get along
It's impossible to fight for strength and still stay strong
I close my eyes and go to that secret place in my mind
Until recently that was a place that no one else could find
How did he get here?
Someone getting past all my layers and those brick walls i built around my heart has always been my greatest fear
I've been able to keep people out for years...

DELETE!!!

*Inspired by Drake's Marvin's Room*
Phone ringing off the hook, guess I should get that.
Then I see who it is, let them go to voicemail and I'll call back.
Haven't seen that number in a while, kinda thru me off track.
Dialed 1 to hear my messages and I hear his voice.
He's apologizing for the late call, but he has a new chick so he had no choice.
He wants to meet up so we have the talk we never had.
Pit of my stomach is in knots, feelings all bad.
I can hear the club music in the background.
Drinks must be in his system cuz now he's ranting about me letting him come back around.
The message continues and he says "the nigga that You wit aint shit!"
This coming from a nigga that's leaving drunk voicemails, n has a chick.
At the end he says "you might love that nigga, but that nigga will never love you like me".
I remember how he "Loved" me and quickly pressed DELETE!

My Yanni Pooh *RIP*

Yanni had A smile that would brighten up the darkest day!
She brought happiness to the lives of many in her own special way.
 "You guys I'm good, don't worry", that's what I think she would say.
Bad things shouldn't happen to good people like her, so this pain will probably never go away.
What we fail to remember is that we serve a God that never seizes to amaze.
He knows that by many people Yanni was loved.
He needed her with him so now she smiles down on us from above.
Yanni is probably the best dancer in heaven,Micheal probably gave her his sequence glove!
As much as I wish Yanni was here with me,
I know she's out of harm's way up there with the KING.
Even though this pain cuts deeper than any sharp knife.
Let us not mourn Yanni's death, Let's celebrate her LIFE.

He's Different...

The lack of confidence is what makes him feel inadequate which in return makes him scared to commit.
He tells every girl that they are heaven sent.
Every nice word he says isn't one that he ever meant.
He secretly hopes that one of the many chicks he lays with is "the one".
Deepest thoughts in his mind, he wishes he could un-do all the damage that he's done.
To his guys he's that nigga and to the chicks he's different.
What he really wants is a woman who won't fall for his bullshit.
He spends his nights alone but tends to let people think other wise.
Hoping and praying that one day a woman will cross his path that will make him feel as if he's won the ultimate prize.
But what he doesn't realize is that he's paying the ultimate price.
His man-hood makes him look at the baddest bitch in the club instead of the chick that looks good and her personality is nice.
Instead of thinking long term, his ego makes him think about who he can take home for the night.
He swears he's not like everybody else, but fails to see how he's just like every other guy.....

Friend Zone

I don't understand dudes.
It seems to me that yall prefer chicks with a basic mindset and an even more basic attitude.
Yall glorify the gold diggers and make the strags think they're cool.
Don't let me start on the males that blame them cheating on the fact that their girlfriend went off to school. Dudes are quick to put real women in the friend zone.
And to that same "friend" whine about the goofy chick you're letting do you wrong.
I'm starting to think yall are scared of the women that are smart, independent and beautiful.
Yall are quick to wife the chicks that have no goals, no morals and the chicks that make you look like a fool.
Yes she has a fat Ass, but what else is she bringing to the table?
Yes I do for my Damn self...but being "too independent" is what I'm labeled.
But its cool...its not you, its me!
I've have a certain taste in men, you c.
And I don't use the term MAN loosely.
I need a man who is man enough to notice the woman in front of him and not leave me be.
A man who knows that Ima a catch and the last of a dying breed

The Battle...

When writing isn't enough
When specific things turn into general stuff
I knew life wasn't going to be easy but I never expected it to be this rough
The things I've been through make my skin tough
Waiting on the day when I can show my softer side
The day the real Me can shine instead of hide
Some say I'm guarded, I simply blame my pride
Heart full of secret thoughts
Letting someone in and them screwing me over, Im not ready to pay that cost
Guess I'll just have to say for now, this is a battle that I've lost.

Irrelevant

When she left she took half of him
Didn't leave much light, so his world seems dim
He blames her for the way he is now
Problem is, that's not how she remembers it going down
She loved him beyond words, beyond actions
She gave him all her emotions, all her passion
WHAT HE'S FEELING NOW ISN'T HER WRATH, ITS HER REACTION
Giving her whole self, she was mentally drained
The thought of loving again puts her heart in unbearable pain
He still doesn't trust because she broke his heart...that's what he claims
Now pain is relevant because he's enduring it
But when she was dying on the inside, her pain was irrelevant

Wishful Thinking...

I wish I could bring you back to this place
To this time
To this space
Where your arms are wrapped around me and my soul you embrace
How do I tell you I miss you when you're no longer here
You not knowing how much I love is my greatest fear
The pain never wore off like they said it would
I never worked through it like they said I should
The tears fall frequently
You not being here to see how things turned out, is whats eating me
Somebody said that since you're up there with God, you're in my heart
Actually accepting that fact that you're gone...is still the hardest part