Alone...

I recently posted something on instagram ( @_MrsWrite ...shameless plug lol) and it said 

"You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person. You need to know how to be happy with yourself before you try to be happy with someone else. If you can't love yourself, how do you expect someone else to love you"


Seeing that I have recently been called a "Media Junky" I thought I would share with you the types of people that I have noticed in the past few months via facebook/twitter/instagram and in my everyday/every other day life...


The first person is a "Relationship Hopper"! They break-up with or stop talking to one person and start with another person a day later. You know the people you see on Facebook who are in love with one person one day and the next they are with someone else and are "all smiles"! Yeah those people! As irritating as that may be, a lot of people do not notice what they are doing to themselves. I have seen this from males and females. I am a strong believer of when you end a relationship with one person, you should take time to reflect on the situation. See what you did wrong, what that person did wrong and how you can make sure it doesn't happen again. There is always room for improvement but you can't make those changes without assessing what went wrong. This DOES NOT MEAN drown in your tears and cry listening to Keyshia Cole or Jay-Z Song Cry every night. This simply means take a step back and figure out what is going on. I do not believe that you can do this while being in a relationship with an entirely different person. WHY? you ask...Because your focus is on them, how they make you feel and how you make them feel. Your focus is not on the past because at the current moment you might be "happy" (and i use the word "happy" loosely). SOO many times I have seen people hop around from one relationship to the next and they can never figure out why things are not working out. MAYBE the problem isn't them, Maybe it's you!!!

The other type of person I see is the person who stays in a relationship way too long because they are scared to be by themselves or they are scared to start all over (Raises hand, I'm guilty of that). Those are the people who you see on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram who are in love one day, saying they hate their spouse the next day and 3 days after that are back in love. I have also seen this, from males and females.   Sometimes you have to just walk away from people and never look back. Scary I know but it can be done. But there is no way you can bring happiness to someone else if you are not happy yourself. If you are in a miserable relationship, and you are a miserable person, no matter what that person does, no matter how great they may be, you will bring misery to them as well. Misery loves company!!!

This is a lesson I had to learn on my own a few years ago. After a rough break-up I found myself, by myself. I spent a lot of time getting to know myself. It was a scary place to be, because at no time in my life before that moment had I taken real time out to get to know who I really was, and I'm still learning! I learned what I liked, what I didn't like. What I wanted and what I did not want. Personally, it took me to actually ask myself those questions, and it took for me to be by myself, alone, to figure those things out. It was not easy. Being alone is not always the easiest thing to do. TRUST ME, I've been there, I've done that. Getting to know yourself is an amazing experience! The things that I learned about me have changed me for the better. My overall morals and values stayed the same but I defined those things for myself. But getting to know yourself and loving yourself isn't about bringing happiness to other people, its about bringing happiness to yourself. I have a joy that no one can ever steal from me because they didn't give it to me. YES people do add to my happiness but they can never take away from it. That is something I learned from taking time out to step back from people, and spending time alone and away from everyone.

I'm not sure when being alone became such a horrible thing. I know that I have family and friends supporting me so I know that I am not alone in this world. But spending time alone and getting to know yourself is priceless. There are experiences that teach you things about yourself, there are people that will teach you about yourself, but there is no greater lesson learned by you than the lesson taught by you!

PS.....take yourself on a date! Go buy yourself some new shoes! Make yourself a huge dinner! Go to the movies by yourself. Those small things, and that time spent alone will become more and more valuable as we get older because we will be surrounded by people all the time and wish that we could have a moment alone! 

My Friend...Steve Agee

Almost a year ago I lost a good friend...Steve Agee! He was one of those people for me...one of those always smiling, always joking...an overall GREAT person! He gave thee best hugs! Through losing Steve I learned to not question GOD and the things that he does because even when he answers, I STILL don't understand. I miss my friend...I really miss my friend...But in my own little way I'm making sure his memory stays alive. After you read this poem...if you knew Steve please leave a memory of him in the comment box below, and if you did not know Steve I hope this helps you get to know him... just a little.

I never in a million years thought I'd miss you in this way

You not being here so I can hear your laugh or hug you...I never thought I'd see the day

The hurt in your loved ones eyes still remains

Life goes on they say...but it just doesn't feel the same

Those jokes...those precious moments...I'd give anything for another

I know I'm hurting...but I cant imagine the pain of your brother...father...and your mother...

But there is one thing that I want you to know, we will keep your memory alive

We will do our best in all we do, for greatness we will strive

You taught me to not worry about every little thing, just hop on life's rollercoaster and ride

You inspired so many and we all want to do the same

So there are so many things being started up in your memory, in yout name

So yes we still hurt from losing you but in that loss you have opened so many doors

We are forever reminded that life is ABOUT SO MUCH MORE

Letter to my 5 year old self...

Dear BreAuna aka Bre(lol)

       I hope that you are ready for a life that no one but GOD knew you would live. There will be many ups, BUT there will be a lot of downs. At one point in your life, your downs will make you feel beyond low. You will feel as if nothing you do is good enough. Not good enough for your friends, not good enough for your family, not good enough for the world and not good enough for GOD. You will grow up knowing that GOD and your family love you NO MATTER WHAT, but there will come a time when that is not enough. You will search for love in what seems to be all of the wrong places. BUT what you will learn from that search is that the love you were searching for has been in your face your entire life. NO dude will be able to love you more than GOD. And when you do meet a nice, loving and caring MAN, he won’t make you feel alone. He'll be there whenever you need him. He'll see that you are clearly a dork and corny as hell, but he'll still stick around, and he'll laugh at your horrible jokes!! Let your guard down, he won’t hurt you. There will come a time when you will not know who you are, what you are here for and why GOD placed you in a family where you will feel as if you do not belong. There is a reason for everything HE does, so do not fear what he has in store for you. Some nights you will cry yourself to sleep because you will feel as if you do not fit in. People will make you feel as if you have to change who YOU are to make THEM feel more comfortable in THEIR skin. DO NOT CHANGE!!!!!!! You will always be outspoken and head strong but that is a part of who you are. That is how GOD created you and if GOD wanted the input of others on how to create you I'm sure he would have asked them for their help. BUT since he didn't tell them to shut the hell up!!! You will have a lot of people you call friends...those people will get you thru some of the hardest times of your life. BUT some of those people will not be around as long as you may think they should be. They will leave you, some will have a "reason", others will not. There is nothing you can do to make people stay in your life! If they want to be there, they will be there! Stay the loyal person that your parents will raise you to be! Even when being fake is what other people are doing around you, stay loyal!!! Stay loyal to your friends, family, boyfriends, and GOD. And do not forget to stay loyal to yourself! Your family, as irritating and crazy as they maybe, show them as much love as possible. They love you! NO MATTER WHAT, THEY LOVE YOU! THEY LOVE YOUR SMILE! THEY LOVE YOUR STYLE! THEY LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU PISS THEM OFF! THEY LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Oh yea...when you get older there are some people that you will call your friends...those people are the true definition of what friends should be. And even though some friends will hurt you, these friends are different. They love you for the head strong, independent, outspoke person who are! They will show you what it is like to have people in your corner no matter what happens between you. And don’t forget about you baby....She will look up to you! She will try to mirror some things you do. You are an example for her; pave the way for her and your older brother! I know it may sound crazy now, but they both depend on you. Remember to make yourself happy even if it means that others do not agree with what you are doing. Last but not least BreAuna...Even when you feel alone, and you feel low, and you feel as if your best isn't good enough...when you feel like crying...when you feel like smiling...when you feel stressed...and when you are at your best...remember to give GOD all the praise BECAUSE LITERALLY...WITHOUT HIM YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE....HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT LOVED YOU THE DAY YOU ENTERED THIS EARTH...WHEN YOU DIDN'[T HAVE NAME...WHEN YOU DIDN'T HAVE A FAMILY...HE WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND YOU AND CAREFULLY PLACED YOU WHERE YOU SHOULD BE. NO MATTER WHAT HE LOVES YOU!


                                                                                 Sincerly, Your 24 year old self! <3


Writing this letter to myself helped me in so many ways I couldn't even begin to explain! What would you say to yourself at a young age??? Think about it...you may even learn somethings about yourself that you didn't know! <3

LIVE...

She held on tight...as long as she could
I asked her to make sure she stayed around for graduation...She promised she would
I admire the fight in her, I hope the same fight is in me
Because there will one day come a time when I am trying to hold on to this life...But GOD will want me to be free
I wonder if she asked GOD for one more day
If she asked HIM to let her stay
Even if she did, her request was denied because HE took her away
I remember the last time we talked...I held her hand
Even though her body wasn't functioning properly and mine was...she told me to sit, dont stand
She whispered "baby no matter what, take care of yourself and your fam".
And I replied while looking into her eyes "Grandma dont worry, I am".
My stomach dropped because I knew that this was the end
I would never be able to talk to my favorite person ever again
I was so close to crying
Because the only person that ever understood me was so close to dying
And even though she didnt have much strength left, she continued to give
Within her last breath she continued to live...



There was a very important lesson that I learned from losing my grandma to Cancer(of the blood)...LIVE!!!!!! NO matter what the situation is you have to continue to live. Even when there's nothing left in you, you have to live until your last breath leaves your body. I promised my Grandma that I would take care of my family and myself. The best way I know how to do that is to LIVE. So that day I also promised my grandma that No matter what I would try my best to appreciate life everyday that I get the chance to live it. So this blog post is dedicated to her and to everyone else that has taught me how to live! *RIP* Grandma...I miss you!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T..........

Note from BreAuna...I have only been in one serious relationship in my entire LIFE and I'm not married so it obviously didn't work out. BUT my parents have been married for over 27 years! I have watched their relationship grow over the years. They have set a great example for me! I also know a lot of other married couples and other couples that have been together for years. I also do research on relationships! NOT that any of this is your business! BUT let me help you out...If you do not like what is said on MY BLOG DO NOT READ IT!!!

I recently had a conversation with my boss. She said that she was watching a TV show and they stated that Our generation and the two generations before us are lost when it comes to relationships. They said that there is no hope for these three generations, we do not value marriage and we do not know the meaning of LOVE. She asked me if I agreed with these things and this was my response....

The Problem: I can only speak for this generation...I TOTALLY agree that THIS generation is lost when it comes to relationships. Cheating has become the norm and people are accepting lies left and right. I do not completely blame our generation for the problems that we have now. There is a lack of good and healthy relationships that we can use as an example or a blueprint. No one taught us the value of relationships. NO one taught these young ladies to demand respect and except nothing less than 100% from a man. NO one taught these young men to open doors, pull out chairs and to respect women. No one is teaching...BUT that is not an excuse!

Is there a SOLUTION???
 I do not know the exact answer...but I have some suggestions

Ladies: Stop trying to find yourself in a man! Know and LOVE yourself before you try to get to Know and LOVE a man! When you LOVE and RESPECT yourself you will never let another man cheat on you, lie to you constantly, abuse you, you use and overall Disrespect you! When A MAN sees that YOU love YOU he will LOVE you too! We must demand more from these men! They are cheating because WE allow them to in many ways than 1!!! There are females who do not know their worth which leads them into being okay with being the "sidechick". We have to respect each other and each others relationships! It is not okay for women to mess with a man when we are aware that he is in a relationship!!! As long as there are women who are okay with being nothing but a side chick we will not make any progress.  As long as there are women who will allow a man to cheat on them we will not make any progress. SHARING IS NOT CARING!!!!!

Males: It is important that YOU LOVE YOURSELVES too! As much as you may think that is something that a female needs to work on...Its obvious by some of your selection of females that You all need to love yourselves more as well! You should want a female that expects a lot from you and respects herself and you!  There is no harm in being in a relationship with one person. Giving your all to one woman can be a good thing. If you have a woman that is giving you her all and helping you in anyway possible...if you know she's different than any other female you have come across treat her the way you would treat your mother, or the way you would want a young man to treat your daughter! Personally I feel that the more you entertain the females that disrespect themselves the more females will continue to do so. EXAMPLE: Wale said he wanted an ambitious girl...all of a sudden chicks started going to school and getting jobs....If more males had higher standards...maybe females would step their game up.

I would rather be alone than be in a relationship where I am not happy, and I am getting disrespected! Everyone deserves to be treated with respect! Everyone deserves to be loved!!!! Everyone needs to work on becoming a better them and demanding what you deserve! Its crazy that we will not let a stranger on the street disrespect us but we will allow someone who claims to love us, constanly disrespect us! Raise your standards and do not apologize for doing so!

It will take an honest effort from both males and females in order to change the current situation...until then our generation will continue to be lost!

HMMMmmm Interesting!

Recently I have noticed that males have been doing a lot of women bashing. At first I thought maybe a few dudes were going through some similar issues at the same time. THEN I noticed that it was almost every dude on Twitter and Facebook...constantly going in on females...

I find it a tad bit off that so many males can comment on what females do YET do some of those same things themselves...

Example...Males look at females as being insecure if they stay with a male that does not treat them right. BUT I am noticing that a lot of males are doing the exact same thing! Chicks are keying your cars! Sleeping with your bestfriends! BUT you are still with them or messing with them. Doesn't that make you insecure too then? #pause...lets not get started on the type of chicks that you are spending your time with and money on...#strags....yet SOME dudes are soooooooo quick to say that a woman is insecure!

Since we are on the topic of being insecure...I must address this...
Any male that chases after a numerous amount of females is insecure...YEAH I said it!!! As much as a female should be able to be by herself, not be in a relationship, love herself ETC...so should a MALE!!! I know sooo many dudes that CAN'T be alone! They always have to have a girlfriend or a main chick or a handful of chicks!!! Any dude seeking the love and affection of a lot of females needs to have a seat and really think about why he can't be alone. The love from GOD and yourself should be enough...and the love from GOD, yourself, family and ONE woman should really be enough...IM JUST SAYING! MAYBE if you all took some time out...got to know ONE WOMAN...TREATED HER RIGHT...you all would see what its like to have the FULL attention, love and respect from a WOMAN! I'm telling you...its an amazing thing!! (shout out to my Mommy who has been married to my Daddy for 27 years)<<<<It's possible!
A GROWN MAN that is secure with himself does not need/want the attention and affection of many different females..

Moving on...
Ummmm why is it that it's NOT OKAY for a female to want a relationship??? I have seen soooo many dudes call chicks thirsty and tell them to cool out on the looking for a man thing...YET after the sun goes down all the dudes searching for a chick start DM'ing and inboxing trying to get put on? #Pause....FYI God didn't put us on this earth to be alone...So the need and want to be with someone else is natural and normal!!!! I do not think its okay for a male to put a female down just because she is looking for Mr.Right...In no way am I saying that chicks should be super thirtsty to find a dude but You can't look down on her for not wanting to be alone and wanting someone to love her and someone to love...I'M JUST SAYING!

Speaking of Mr.Right.......
OMG not every dude is Mr.Right and I really want you all to know that! This act that SOME dudes have been putting on has got to stop!!! The new game(if you are not aware) is that SOME dudes are acting as if they have had their hearts broken just to get a chick to feel bad for them(for whatever reason). Pretending to be a "Good Guy" is not cool AT ALL! It really makes it hard for the GOOD GUYS that are REALLY out there . Just how strags are out here claiming to be GOOD GIRLS isn't cool...The same rules apply!

Last but not least...this is a personal pet peeve of mine...
IM SOOOO TIRED OF YOU FAKE STEVE HARVEYS!!! Just because he wrote a book trying to help women...doesnt mean that YOU get to shoot shots and try to "help" females with their problems. SHUT UP!!!!! But dont let a female try to help a male understand anything(sports,life) then there is a problem. SMH!

PLEASE STOP REFLECTING YOUR INSECURITIES OFF ONTO OTHER PEOPLE...IT'S NOT CUTE!

Know Your Role and SHUT YOUR MOUTH

Read with caution!!

One thing I have noticed on facebook and on my TL on twitter is that there are wayyyyy toooo many bitter FEMALES in this world!!! I have reached a conclusion...Females have a major problem with taking responsibility for the part they played in getting their hearts broken!

Let me explain...
I was in a relationship where I was constantly and consistanly being cheated on by the person that I was in a relationship with. The first time that I found out it shocked the hell out of me! I had no idea what I was supposed to do so...I stayed around, secretly hoping and praying that it would not happen again. BUT we all know how that goes. Dude def.cheated on me again...and again...and again...hell I lost count!!! I still stayed and hoped that things would get better and that things would change. If you ask anybody that knows me or knows of me...I am not the type to take anyones bullshit...but I took his because I loved him...I was bitter for a long lil min! BUT what I realized while drowning in my sorrow and bitterness...It was my fault I was bitter...

Dont get me wrong...
What he did was not right! No matter how many chances I gave him, he shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation and continued to do what he did. BUT I was wrong too! I was wrong for staying when I knew that I should have left! I was wrong for not loving and respecting myself enough to get my Loyal, Loving and Caring ass up and leave! The first time it happened I should have left BUT I did not. From that point on I was responsible for everything that happened to my heart. NOT HIM! He showed me who he was and I chose to ignore all the FLASHING RED LIGHTS! I ALLOWED him to continue to hurt me!!!

Ladies...STOP BLAMING THESE DUDES FOR YOU BEING BITTER AND NOT TRUSTING MALES!!! Take a step back and figure out the ROLE you played in getting your heart broken! And once you have figured that out...SHUT UP about it already!!! It happened...Its over!!!

NO...
I am not saying that getting over a dude that you onced loved is easy! By no means am I saying that it is completely your fault that things happened the way that they did. BUT I am saying, listen to your heart and use your brain at the same time!

If a man continues to cheat and YOU allow him to do so...and YOU STAY...he will never learn not to cheat! He will continue! That's like when a child does something wrong and they do not get in trouble for it, they will continue to do it! If you stay in a relationship with a cheater...YOU are saying that it is okay for them to cheat and they have NO reason to stop....!