Do you like me? Yes, No or Maybe PT2

So that hard part is over, or so they say! You told him that you like him. You told her that you like her. NOW WHAT??? What happens after you both acknowledge that there are mutual feelings between the two of you? Who is supposed to take the first step? Usually after mutual feelings are brought to the table, next comes a date. But in 2013 that doesn't seem likely, well not in my experience. I've had several conversations with both male and females about who is supposed to take the first step and it seems as though everyone is pointing the finger to the next person or saying it does not matter who does what!

 I grew up watching the movies where the guy would ask the girl out. I grew up with parents that would go on dates with each other and my dad would ask my mom out. I grew up thinking that the man should take  charge and ask the woman out. Now, in 2013, my views have be altered slightly.

My personal opinion: It does not matter to ME who takes that next step. As long as there is being a step taken. Don't get me wrong, I am a very low-key hopeless romantic, so YES I would love for a guy to ask me on a date and bring me flowers and all the mushy movie stuff. I expect that to happen eventually but if its not on the first date, I wont die! (But 1st impression is everything!) I understand that breaking the ice and asking a person out can be nerve wrecking for some people, but since it's not nerve wrecking for me, I do it (not all the time though). The only problem with being the person to take the next step is that you could be looked at as the person who is supposed to initiate everything and that is where my problem lies. Also, I have been told time and time again that if a man wants you, he'll find a way to get you. No matter how busy or how nervous he is, he will work hard to get you. So does that mean that if a guy hasn't asked a girl out, its safe to say he doesn't really want her? WHO INVENTED THIS DATING CRAP! LOL

Some of the feedback I have gotten on this topic:

@jadore__chanel "I personally don't think it matters. Of course you want to feel wanted you always want that other person to express their feelings first.  But hell closed mouths don't get fed. if you want something go after it before someone else realize the prize and wins the race. 

@regina_george22  "I think it should be the man. If we have mutual feelings then he should step up to the plate and make the first move. That's part of what makes him a man as well as making the woman feel wanted. I think we still deserve that much." 

@Antonio DockaFlocka "It shouldn't matter. It's almost 2014. Who cares who asked first..."

Overall, I think the conclusion is,do what works best for you. If waiting on the guy/girl to ask you has worked for you, stick with that. If asking the guy/girl out has worked for you, stick to that. Or you can do a little of both. But whatever you believe in and are comfortable with doing is what you should do. 

Do You Like Me? Yes,No or Maybe?

I remember in the 5th grade a boy that I liked sent me a note that read "Do you like me? Check YES or NO". In the 7th grade I got another note from another boy and it read "Do you like me? Check YES, NO or MAYBE". Within two years liking someone became complicated and I did not realize it. Now that I am older I ask, what happened to the days where you either liked someone or you didn't? Who added "maybe" to the mix? What happened to the days when guys would ask girls on a date? Is chivalry really dead? As if like and love aren't complicated enough throw a few social media sites in the mix and you have a whole situation of confusion. Times are changing. Complicated is the new simple and simple is the new complicated.

There was once a day where if a male like a female he would ask her on a date. If guy did not like the girl, he simply wouldn't ask her on a date.  In 2013 dating seems to be completely out of the window and the new thing is "kicking it" or "hanging out". If a guy asks you to "kick it" there's no way of knowing if he likes you or not. He may just want some company or a new female friend or he could really like you, but who knows? Call me old fashion but I need things to be clear and "hanging out" does not provide any sort of clarity. If you like a person what's wrong with asking them on a date? No she doesn't want to play things by ear, she wants you to take control of the situation and make things happen. If you like a person, take the time out to plan a date. Even if it is just a simple dinner and movie, at least put forth some effort to show that you are interested. If you are not interested, make that clear. Make sure the person you are hanging out with knows that you are just "hanging out" and nothing more.

Although times have changed and people have tried to complicate things, the answers to the question "Do you like me" still remain simple, yes or no. 

Bitter B-Words...

Please let me know what you think. Leave all comments in the comment box at the bottom. Thank you!

She's "bitter"

Maybe because you quit her

Or maybe because you hit her

But those are things she should get over right?

Just ignore all the hard work and sleepless nights?

Lets not forget all the texts messages and phone calls that led to fights

She loved you the best way she knew how but that wasn't enough

She tried to hold on to the memories but disrespect became too much

She tried walking away from you, but when you noticed you held on tighter

You sold her dreams of a better day, and reminded her that she was a fighter

So she stayed

Only again, to be embarrassed and played

Her "Knight and Shining Armor" turned into the Joker

He broke down the walls she built from her past hurt, only to make a joke out of her

She didn't break her own heart, or maybe she did because she stayed too long

She believes that time will heal all wounds and one day this situation will make her strong

How can a person go through so much and be expected to just "get over it". When you give your all to a person and it is not returned, you are drained. When you are the only person fighting for the relationship that 2 people built but one person is destroying, you feel pain. I do not understand why so many people call females "bitter" because they aren't "over" a situation, or over a relationship. Hurt doesn't go away overnight. 

You have to work through things, not just "get over " them. 

You don't know her story. You have no idea what she went through in that relationship. So, before you call her bitter, before you judge her, before you decided that you are an expert of her life, get to know her. Understand her story. I am not saying that there are no bitter people in the world, but those people have stories...You think you know, but you have no idea!

It takes a village...

Lately I have been searching for new blog topics and I couldn't come up with anything. BUT my Aunt Yo said that I should write about what I care about so, here it goes!!

I have a serious problem with how the children in my neighborhood are being raised. I say my neighborhood because I have no clue if they are being raised this way in other places. I live on a block with a lot of kids between the ages of 0-18! WHY DON'T THESE KIDS HAVE CURFEWS? WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER?? I hear them outside of my house cursing and fighting ALL THE TIME!! It has gotten so bad that I had to come outside and break up a fight. I felt like the little old lady on the block! BUT it did not bother me because when I was growing up, this is what the older people on my block would do. Looking back on my childhood, I can honestly say the quote "It takes a village to raise a child" was applied. I couldn't go far in my neighborhood without seeing and speaking to someone that knew my parents. Older people would ask me "where are you going Bre" or my personal favorite "do your parents know that you're over here" (they still ask me that and I'm grown lol). Back then I used to get super mad. Why are they being so nosy? My parents know where I am! I have one father and one mother!...That was the attitude I had BUT I never said those things out loud. Now that I am older I appreciate those people who cared about my well being. I appreciate them sitting on the porch and looking out for the kids on the block. Until now, I never completely understood what it meant for "the village" to raise the child.


What happened to "the village"? What happened to helping each other and supporting each other?  All of a sudden, no one wants to get involved YET you complain. Now a days, people are scared to CHECK these little kids! When did clubbing become more important than putting your child to sleep? When did updating a facebook status become more important than reading your child a book? When did buying an outfit make you a parent? Then people wonder why kids are acting up at school or out here in these streets. It starts at home. Am I the only person that remembers the saying 'HOME TRAINING"??

No I do not have children BUT I do have parents! My parents sacrificed for my siblings and I! My homework was checked every night. I got on punishment or whooped when I acted a FOOL! My parents provided me with everything that I needed and the things that I wanted they provided if they could. My parents knew that their children needed examples of what type of people to be because sometimes the outside world doesn't offer up many good examples. Not only did my parents educate me school wise but they taught me the difference between right and wrong. They instilled morals and values in me that I will teach to my children and that I try to teach to any child I come across. My parents were there to put band aids on my cuts and bruises. My parents are PARENTS! They didn't leave us with other people every single day so that they could go out and do pointless things.

I know that no one is perfect and sometimes you can't give your child EVERYTHING. But what is the harm in trying? I understand that parents need lives too. BUT just remember that your children didn't ask to be here. and if you wanted that much of a life and time with your friends, maybe you should have thought about that before having a kid. Your children should come first. I am tired of seeing parents put their children and their children's needs to side. Do not have kids if you aren't ready. If you already have children and you can't take care of that 1, don't have ANYMORE!!!!! I swear it's that easy!

We have to get back to the Village helping to raise the child. We have to get back to the days where WE as a village take some responsibility for the children in our community. As much as we want to blame everyone else for the ongoing violence in our city, there is no one to blame but us. The people shooting aren't aliens from a far away civilization in a galaxy beyond the stars!!!! They are your neighbor's kids. They are people that you grew up with. They are kids that you have watched grow up. They are apart of the village. Until we take our village back, until we start taking more responsibility for what goes on in our neighborhoods, we can expect a change. That change starts at home!!!!

 I take my hat off to any parent who is trying their best to make sure that their child(ren) are taken care of. I know it is not easy, especially in the world we live in today. I appreciate you!

 

Turn down for what? Because you have a child at home that hasn't seen you all week!!! 

Be You!!!!

My entire life every adult that I have ever know told me "BreAuna, you're either going to be a teacher or a lawyer". Those were the only two things that people continuously told me that I would/could be. My parents made it very clear that I could be whatever I wanted to be BUT they made the lawyer/teacher comment a few times as well. 

Becoming a teacher became my goal. Throughout grammar school, high school and even most of college I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I went to NIU(S/O to my set #TeamNIUAlumni...Shameless plug lol) to major in English so that I could become a high school English teacher. For years I convinced myself that I wanted to be a teacher. 

On July of 2011 I lost my great grandmother and in August of 2011 I lost my other great grandmother. Losing those two women made me question EVERYTHING  about my life. I felt LOST. I felt like I had no guidance. I didn't know what I was really doing with my life. I was alive and breathing but I wasn't LIVING. In November of 2011 was my last straw. I lost another good friend (RIP Steve Agee) and I couldn't take it. 

2011 changed my life. I lost sooooo many people. I felt like I was drowning. BUT I remembered the conversations that I had with the people that I lost. I remembered their lives and how they were all living up until the their last breath. 

I walked across that great big stage in December 2011 knowing that I no longer wanted to teach. In losing many of my loved ones, I found my true passion...WRITING! I have always been a writer. But when I lost my grandmothers I didn't want to talk, all I wanted to do was write. When I was in the most pain, I didn't want to cry, I wanted to write.

A lot of people are wondering what I am doing with my life after graduating. They ask me why I am not teaching and what changed that I didn't want to teach anymore. When I tell them that I am a writer and about some of my dreams and goals they don't support. They can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that I no longer want to teach. They tell me that I would be a great teacher and that I should think about my decision to be a writer. SMH. What about saying that I'll be a great writer? SMH

My entire life I let people tell me what I was good at. I let people tell me who I should be, what I should major in, what career I should have and sooo many other things. I got to a point where I got tired of waking up everyday and "living" for other people. I got tired of putting other people's wants and dreams for me, in front of my own wants and dreams. I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life and I am doing it. NO my life isn't perfect. No, I am not exactly where I want to be with my career at this point BUT I can guarantee you that I am working towards MY GOALS, MY DREAMS and I AM LIVING FOR ME. I love to write. I am a writer. I will have published work. I will write a book. I will write more songs. I write...and if you have a problem with that, oh well! Writing is what I love to do and I am pursuing a GREAT career in WRITING...NOT TEACHING! SO DEAL WITH IT!  

Do what you want. Make YOUR dreams come true! Step out on faith! Believe in yourself even when other people don't! Keep working. Keep dreaming! Keep reaching for your goals. Nothing beats a fail but a try! 

Act Your Wage!!

I hear a new song about "checking a bag" or "getting money" almost everyday. While those rap songs may work in the club or in your car, applying them to reality is becoming a problem. What I am noticing is that a lot of people seem to be more content with looking like a million bucks rather than actually having a million bucks.

There is nothing wrong with wanting and getting nice things. There is nothing wrong with looking nice and treating yourself. BUT it becomes a problem when you are able to buy a Gucci belt that cost $500 but are aren't able to put $40 worth of gas in your car. It becomes a problem when you have a $1200 purse on your arm yet your bank account has $7.50 in it. Where are your priorities? 

Impressing the person next to you should never be your main focus. Some people can't seem to find employment because they are too worried about impressing the next person. "STUNTING" is not a full time job! "Stunting" does not pay the bills. The people that you are trying to impress are probably about as broke as you are or have less than what you have.

What people fail to realize is that those Gucci belts go out of style every season. That Gucci purse will be out of season in two months. There is will be a new purse or a new belt and then you will expected (by those same broke people you are trying to impress) to have the new belt and purse. 

Too many times we think of temporary success or of temporary things in general. So instead of saving up money to purchase a house or something that would be more permanent in our lives we spend money on things that will come and go. Can you pass that belt down to your children? Is that purse going to put a roof over your head?

Instead of thinking of the temporary satisfaction, think Longevity

Guns Killing People or People Killing People?

Guns Killing People or People Killing People?   

Written By: BreAuna Jackson

Edited By: LeMara Perry

The city of Chicago is filled with many sounds. On a normal day you may hear the sound of children playing, ice cream truck melodies or the neighbor’s dog barking.  But there is one sound that has become all too familiar for Chicago residents, the sound of gun shots.

Chicago, a place once known for its thick crust pizza and championship basketball team, is now making headline news across the nation for its gun violence epidemic and the senseless killing of their youth.

Chicago, which has some of the country’s strictest gun laws, reached over 500 homicides due to gun violence last year. That was almost an 85 percent increase from 2011 when 423 people were killed.

Compared to the previous years, the crime rate is higher. In January alone over 43 people were killed.  

The most recent stories include 15-year-old Hadiya Pendleton and six month old Jonylah Watkins who were both shot and killed on the city’s south side. Pendleton, who just one week prior to her death performed at President Obama’s second inauguration, was shot in the back while standing outside with friends after taking her final exams. Watkins was shot to death in the front seat of a car as her father changed her diaper.

Although these stories brought political and media attention to the ongoing gun violence epidemic in Chicago, the violence did not start or end there. Mourning families and friends have long suffered the loss of their loved ones in the city. But it’s the recent rise violence, particularly gun violence, which leaves Chicago residents wondering what the problem is and where the solution lies.

Two Chicago residents, Rashida Olayiwola and Shontay Newsome, both lost close relatives to the gun violence in the city.

Olayiwola’s cousin, 26-year-old Dernardo Collins, was shot three times in front of his home in April of 1998.

“My cousin was so handsome so all the girls wanted him,” said Olayiwola. “Every new item he had to have because he was a effortlessly fly guy & genuinely nice to everyone! Family meant the world to him!”

Newsome lost her cousin, Dave Scott, on April 24, 2004. Scott was shot in the head on Chicago’s West Side. Newsome attributes the lack of parenting to the increase of violence in Chicago.

“These kids think it’s cool to try to be the toughest or the baddest. They think it is cool to hang out on corners and sell drugs,” she said. “When I was growing up I wasn’t allowed to do those things. My family made sure that I was in school and not hanging on corners.”  

Pastor Phil Jackson of Tha House Covenant Church on Chicago’s West Side also believes that the lack of parenting has played a factor in the rise of gun violence in the city.

Being a youth pastor, Jackson has had to attend several funerals for young people killed in Chicago. “Parents aren’t raising their children, the streets are. The old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child” doesn’t apply anymore,” said Jackson.

“Some adults are scared to get involved with the kids in the neighborhood. We have to take our kids back from the streets. We have to take our blocks back. We have to get involved and help these kids.”

 Jackson is a firm believer in meeting kids where they are in order to take them to where God wants them to be. Tha House Covenant Church, a hip hop worship experience, is doing their part in taking the streets back by going block by block praying for the youth.  They also hold several community outreach events like the annual hip hop revival which features an outdoor concert, break dance competition, and graffiti battle.

 “Our children need to know that we are here to help them. They need to feel safe just like we adults have the need to feel safe,” said Jackson. “Not all of the children in Chicago are gang bangers and drug dealers. They just need our help and our guidance.”

In an effort to reduce crime, the Chicago Police Department has assigned rookie officers to foot patrol in some Chicago’s higher crime rate areas. So far over 1,550 firearms have been recovered as officers walk their beat.

Although it may seem to others that gun violence is the norm in Chicago, it is definitely a problem that citizens are hoping to do without some day; someday soon. Olayiwola, Newsome and Jackson hope that through parental involvement and the hard work and dedication of city residents, leaders and officials, Chicago can go back to the great pizza city that it was once known for.